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Adriana

Page history last edited by danilyra 11 years, 10 months ago

Losing my temper after a cruise in Bonito MT.

Some years ago, I travelled to Bonito with all my family and we had a stressing experience. We went to a reputable tourism agency and bought tickets for a river cruise in a boat. I told the agent that my parents and kids didn’t know how to swim and this cruise was sold as a calming and relaxing tour, just to appreciate the landscape. The place was very beautiful, but after a few minutes we saw a little waterfall that was a surprise for us. Unexpectedly, when the boat went down it, the coxswain and my sister fell in the water and the boat was astray. We rowed and rescued them. We realized that the coxswain wasn’t prepared for his job and we were scared to death. I had to hold my angry back until the end of the trip. However, when the cruise finished, I lost my temper and went to the agency to complain about it. I was so nervous that I told the owner of the agency off and said what was on my mind. Unluckily, I noticed that ecological tourism in Brazil doesn’t follow safety rules and it is dangerous. Then, I decided to spend my vacations in big cities to avoid losing my temper.

 

Dear Adriana,

I can only imagine how stressed you were. OMG! could you please correct the two details I highlighted here? Please add the recording too.

Cheers,

Dani 


 

 

 

Paragraph Unit 6

 

Bullfighting is a cruel kind of entertainment in Spain.

Bulls are treated inhumanely and they have no chance to survive.

Some people think that the culture of the country has to be preserved. That's one way to look at it, but I believe that this situation is wrong because nothing justify so much pain, insensibility and ferocity.
Alternatives can be found for entertainment and just good traditions must be respected and kept.

In conclusion, animals should not be hurt and killed for fun and bullfighting should be prohibited in all countries.

 

Paragraph Unit 4

 

I have two great friends since I was a child. They have very different tastes in fashion, but both are elegants and striking people.

Cris always wears classic attires, while Ana prefers trendy and hot clothes.

Ana has used diverses hairstyles like an afro, a mullet and a shag cut. On the other hand, Cris has used a bob hairstyle since we were teenagers.

Cris doesn´t like to attrack attention to herself and habitually she wears clothes that conform to the other people, whereas Ana loves to stand out in a crowd and wears fashionable and stylish clothes.

However, there are some similarities in their styles. Cris likes high heel shoes and big purses, and Ana does too.

In conclusion, I think that each person should choose the style that combine with her personality, because a majority of styles can be beautiful and nowadays anything goes.

 

 

Paragraph Unit 1

 

Team players usually get (ww) a success and happyness (sp) in their lifes (wf). They are reliable, polited (wf), friendly, helpful, sensitive and organized. Actually, they know exactly the objective of the work that they need ^ do. How (ww) they have great wisdow (sp), they are able to distinguish how each co-work (wf) can help at the task (which tasks? Be more specific), considering their habilities (sp). In summary, everybody likes to work with a team player and do the better (wf) to obtain a triumph (or even better, to succeed).

 

Dear Adriana,,

 

You have a very well-sequenced text with a clear topic sentence, supporting ideas, and concluding sentence. Just try to expand some of the ideas you mentioned in the body of your paragraph to make it even richer. Pay attention to some language structures, mainly the spelling of the words and word form. Also, be attentive to the use of articles.  I'm sure your paragraph will be even better!

 

Check this reference for articles: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/540/01/ 

Here are some exercises: http://www.englishpage.com/grammar/Articles/Exercises/ 

 

Write the second version of your text just below the first. Click on "edit" and then "save".

 

vt - wrong verb tense

vf - wrong verb form

sp- spelling

wf - wrong word form

^ - something missing

Comments (6)

Adriana said

at 11:53 am on Mar 15, 2011

Team players usually have success and happiness in their lives . They are reliable, polite, friendly, helpful, sensitive and organized. Actually, they know exactly the objective of the work that they need to do. Considering that they have great wisdom, they are able to distinguish the co-workers's abilities and they encourage the colleagues to wok in group. In summary, everybody likes to work with a team player and work hard to succeed.



Carla Arena said

at 6:14 pm on Mar 17, 2011

Dear Adriana, fantastic!!! You did it. Now, your paragraph was written to perfection. It is objective, well-sequenced and well-written. Great job. Thanks for taking your time to rewrite it.

Adriana said

at 10:10 am on Mar 18, 2011

Carla, you are the best English's teacher that I've ever had. Your energy and happiness envole us. Thank you. Have a nice weekend.

Carla Arena said

at 12:48 pm on Mar 21, 2011

Dear Adriana, thanks for your kind words! You made my day yesterday when I read your message here. That´s why teaching is so rewarding. We have the chance to meet well-dedicated, committed learners like you!

Adriana said

at 9:41 am on Mar 22, 2011

Thank you Carla, you are so amazing. I watched the video about creativity and I agree that if you afraid to make a mistake, probably you won't be creative. Cheers,

Carla Arena said

at 8:59 pm on Mar 22, 2011

Dear Adriana. It is really true. Here are some quotes I enjoy about mistakes:
"Do not fear mistakes. There are none." -- Miles Davis

"99 percent of success is built on failure." -- Charles Kettering

"I have not failed once. I've just found 10,000 ways that didn't work." -- Thomas Edison

"An inventor fails 999 times, and if he succeeds once, he's in. He treats his failures simply as practice shots." -- Charles Kettering

"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly."
-- Robert F. Kennedy

"Adversity reveals genius, prosperity conceals it." -- Horace

"When we can begin to take our failures non-seriously, it means we are ceasing to be afraid of them. It is of immense importance to laugh at ourselves." -- Katherine Mansfield

"Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently."
-- Henry Ford

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